One morning when I was very young, I woke up from a vivid dream. I was in a lush, green forest, lying down. There were giant trees hovering over me, and I was touching the green grass with my bare feet. There was not a single sight or sound of another life around me. In this beautiful forest, I remember feeling lonely, lost, and scared. I guess all I wanted was to share this majestic life, this dream with someone. Then, the most beautiful girl appeared in the form of an angel. She was wearing a white translucent dress, flowing as she was hovering just above the grass. Her beautiful golden hair went all the way down to her back, and she had white light all around her. She was smiling down at me, and all I could feel was safe, protected, and loved. I remember waking up with a jerk, shaking and shivering, because it felt so real. My father asked me what had happened, and to this day, I remember telling him that I met an angel in my dreams. That was my first time having a vivid dream.

Fast forward to 20 years later. I am not a boy anymore. I’ve gone to school, gotten jobs, fallen in and out of flings, and have become more independent. Life has been good to me, most of the time. I’ve gotten to travel, see things, experience people and places, and have become more loving of who I am.

So then, why am I retelling my childhood dream that I had forgotten up until a few months ago? Believe it or not, that girl, that angel, that white light…all of that is real. And, I got to meet her, fall in love with her, and spend the best three months of my life with her.

I was in Kaua’i, attempting to do some more self growth. I had intended to camp by the beach, by myself, for 10 days. In my head, this was going to by my own vipassana in a way, meditating, communing with nature, and just get away from the world a bit. I’d been trying to do that for a while, ever since I’d gotten back from Burning Man. This island felt like the place to do it. For some reason, there was something drawing me to this island. As I was descending to Lihue at 10 PM local time, I thought that draw was the isolation, the quietness, the lack of humans.

Once I’d gotten there though, I realized that the island had something else in store for me. I connected with my tribe, people who I had always felt a bond to, but never met until I was there. It was the first time for all of us in Kaua’i, and there had to be this purpose. My purpose was to find true connection, oneness, and to meet someone from my past lives, someone who has changed my life, from the moment we laid eyes on each other.

“Have we met before?” asked the eyes in her face. I had the same question. I had never met this girl, but there was this bond, this sense that we had met before. This was October 3rd.

Now, I am in December 11th. For the last 2 months and a few days, I lived in a bubble of happiness, support, unconditional love, warmth, hugs, smiles, unabashed laughters, and lucid dreams. With my Jassy, we explored the world of plant medicine, met each other in our past lives, shared the same dreams, had a family holiday, started living in a van, laughed our way through the Bay Area, brought people joy and good vibes, enjoyed amazing vegan, gluten free foods and desserts, and loved like we had never loved before. I found myself, through her.

After all, it makes sense. She is the woman from my dreams. And her name is Blue Jade.