Fear, Trust, Awe

hey, this is ish.

For a deeper dive into myself, check out my life vision.

Splitting time between one of the Gulf Islands of Canada and the Sacred Valley of Peru, I am an artist, a meditator, a yogi, a writer, and a facilitator who guides men into a deeper experience of life.

For the most part, my life is sweet, and I am blessed.

It wasn’t always like this.

Growing up undocumented and in a strictly conservative household taught me more about the edge of fear than any textbook ever could.

I navigated most of my life in the shadows and in a perpetual state of survival mode—my routine consisted of going to school and coming home, being unable to drive or work, and being unable to participate in the normal ways of adolescence. Because I didn’t have a way to generate income, for a year during college, my diet was limited to two cans of black beans every two weeks. I lived my most formative years fearing being seen because being seen meant I’d be caught.

Through this, I learned that survival mode isn’t just about getting by; it’s about constricting your world to avoid the risks of truly living. But there is a risk inherent in being alive. 

Luckily, I had this unrelenting inner knowing that there was something deeper, something more to life that I never had permission to pursue. Everyone continued to point me toward safety, which meant staying in hiding. But this safety seemed never to give anyone I know any satisfaction, contentment, or happiness.

Ultimately, I permitted myself to lean into my fear, trust the unknown, and take risks. And so I lept, literally and figuratively, off massive cliffs despite being unable to swim and out of the sky e as a skydiver, learning to work with my fear. I moved across country and continent borders to create new homes and faced the rawness of plant medicine. These experiences have been confrontations with my limits. Each time, I have emerged with a deeper understanding of what’s truly possible.